


the pain of yesterday

by TheRoyalPrussianArmy



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Ambiguous/Open Ending, But today is not that day, DGHDA Beginner Bang 2018, Farah is efficient, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Light Angst, M/M, Man Out of Time, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, but kid out of time, it'll have a solid ending one day, sort of case-fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 07:26:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14732534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRoyalPrussianArmy/pseuds/TheRoyalPrussianArmy
Summary: "No," Dirk answered, "I mean that boy-child is Todd. Brotzman. Not just some random child we picked up off the street and decided to adopt.” Dirk paused.” Or steal.”When Todd gets turned into a child, it's up to Farah and Dirk to take care of him. Kid-Todd isn't what they were expecting, though. He's talkative, happy, and expressive- exactly like a child should be. It's disconcerting to see the difference, until they figure out just why Todd is the way he is.written for the DGHDA beginner and big bang 2018!





	the pain of yesterday

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly before I even start so many thanks to thats-entirely-too-much-tuna on tumblr for being a wonderful beta (again!) and yogurtpo3 on tumblr for doing the cutest freaking art ever??? Many apologies to them for being so slow and useless as a writer but they've done such an amazing job so a giant round of applause to them!
> 
> Onto business-  
> the spacing is weird. I tried to fix it. I don't know if I managed to or not.
> 
> there might be some tense changes in random places? i was switching between present and past tense when writing and i may have missed some during editing. hmu if you see any ;)
> 
> i have very little interaction with children normally, so everything i wrote is based off the small interaction i have, the six-year-old i do interact with semi-regularly, and tuna's babysitting experience. children are not my forte, but i think this one is cute so hopefully it is that way.
> 
> there is mention of child abuse. not explicit, just kid-Todd talking about how he's treated.
> 
> i think that's it?
> 
> thanks to Hellz for hosting the bang again, thanks once more to Tuna and Yogurt for being wonderful partners, and I hope you all enjoy!

When the lights faded, Dirk had to take a second to reorient himself. He stayed flat on the ground for a good few moments, breathing and keeping his eyes shut. The room was... quiet. Too quiet, actually. Todd should have said something by now, like he normally did. He should’ve been asking if Dirk was okay, or berating him for putting himself in danger yet again, but... he was silent. Dirk slowly opened his eyes and raised his head.   


  
"Todd?" he asked out loud. 

 

He heard the sound of someone breathing, but it sounded too... light to be Todd. Not that Todd was a particularly heavy breather  when he wasn't trying to catch his breath, but this sounded small. Definitely not like an adult. 

 

"Todd? Are you okay?" Dirk asked again. He rolled over onto his back with a groan before pushing himself up into a sitting position and rubbing his eyes. When he opened them again, he froze. "Hello..." he said slowly, staring at the child across from him. 

 

The boy was in clothes much too big for his frame... Todd's clothes. The shirt dangled off his skinny shoulders. And yet, for someone who was obviously in a strange place with a strange person, the boy looked more intrigued than frightened. He was staring at Dirk with bright, inquisitive blue eyes. After a moment, he grinned widely and- there was a gap between his teeth. Dirk's stomach turned to cement. Farah was going to kill him.   


  
"Hi there!” the boy said. “Do you know where I am? I remember goin’ to sleep but then I woke up and you're here sayin' my name and all." 

 

The boy pushed himself to his feet and looked around. His voice was high-pitched still; he couldn't be any older than six or seven.  He began stumbling around, wearing nothing but the too-large shirt. He walked over to the machine, standing up on his tiptoes to look at the control panel. "What do all these buttons on this thingy do?"   
  


"T-" Dirk began, and then he had to stop and take a breath. This was... even for him, this was...  _ Oh no _ . "Todd?" he asked a bit hesitantly. Internally, he was screaming, ‘ _ Please don't react! Please don't react! _ ’ 

 

The boy immediately looked at him and walked over in a hurry, like a puppy who'd heard a squeaky toy.

  
  
"Yep, that's me! Do ya need some help, mister?" Todd asked with a cheerful giggle.   


  
"Oh, Farah's going to have my arse for this," Dirk muttered as he stared at his best friend in horror.   


  
"What's an arse?" Todd questioned with a large grin, mischief glinting in his eyes.   


  
Dirk was  _ so _ screwed.

 

[ ](http://s223.photobucket.com/user/yogurtpo3/media/BeginnerBang-firstmeeting_zpsa3tcjvmf.png.html)

 

* * *

 

Farah looked about as shaken as Dirk felt when he revealed the child-ified Todd to her at the agency. The boy was seated in Dirk’s comfy, cushioned chair, and she was staring at him with a mixture of shock, anxiety, and resignment.  _ That’s a very Farah look, _ Dirk thought.   
  


"What do you mean, that's Todd?" she asked as the child began to spin in the chair. It looked like she knew, but didn't want to believe it. "Like, you and Todd found a child named Todd, right? And  _ our Todd _ is just... looking for his parents? And he'll be back when they're found?"   
  


"No," Dirk answered, "I mean that boy-child  _ is Todd _ . Brotzman. Not just some random child we picked up off the street and decided to adopt.” Dirk paused.” Or steal.” He shook his head in exasperation before explaining. "There was... There was a gun thing, and a loud noise, and a bright light, and some buttons were pushed, and levers flipped, and there was a beam, and Todd... threw himself in front of it because it was aimed at me, and when the light died down, this Todd was... there." 

 

He looked over at Todd, who was steadily picking up speed, spinning the chair as fast as he could, and laughing loudly. Dirk couldn't recall the last time he'd seen him look so carefree. Was it during the spell at the rave in Bergsberg?   
  


"What are we supposed to do with it?” Farah hissed. “...Him. What are we supposed to do with him? He's a child. He's... what, eight? Six? He's so small!" 

  
Dirk shrugged. "Todd, how old are you?" he called out.  
  
  
"I'm five!” Todd answered amidst giggles. “Gonna be six soon, but I'm five right now!"  He stopped the chair with his feet and swayed where he sat, obviously dizzy. 

  
"There you go, he's five," Dirk said to Farah, proud of his detective skills. Farah didn't look amused.  
  
  
"And how exactly are either of us supposed to care for a five-year-old child?” she asked, turning on her heel and beginning to pace the floor. “A five-year-old  _ Todd _ , even? We both know how he is as an adult, can you imagine him as a kid?"   
  
  
"Well, I obviously don't have to, because he's right there," Dirk said, turning to point at the chair, and-

  
Todd was no longer there. Dirk’s heart stopped for a moment. 

  
"Todd?” he called. “Todd, where did you go?" 

 

In response, they received a giggle from... somewhere.

  
"Come find me!" Todd’s voice replied.

 

It took fifteen minutes, both adults, and the promise of an ice cream cone to get Todd to come out from where he'd hidden. Farah nearly had a heart attack in the process, and Dirk wasn’t far behind her, honestly. After double checking that the five year old was in one complete piece and not injured in any way, they sat him down back in the chair for a stern talking to. Todd received the lecture on not starting spontaneous hide-and-seek games with a small frown, hunching over guiltily and trying not to kick his legs too much.   
  


"You have to tell us before you start playing hide-and-seek so we know you're okay, Todd,” Farah told him sternly. “What if we hadn’t been able to find you?" 

  
"You weren't, though, I had to tell you where I was,” Todd pointed out. “But I won't do it again, promise! Next time, I'll make sure you know we're playing! Can we play again now?"

 

Farah sighed and looked at Dirk, who only shrugged. "Sure,” she sighed after a moment of mental self-debate. “Go hide, and tell us when you're ready."  

 

Todd cheered and hopped off the chair, hugging her and Dirk around the legs before running off to hide again. Dirk watched him go before turning to look at Farah.

  
  
"Somehow, I think we won't have to worry about Todd-like behavior,” Dirk said softly.

 

* * *

 

After a long discussion including bullet points, firm shout-speaking (at Dirk, from Farah), and puppy dog eyes (at Farah, from Todd), it was determined that Todd would stay with Dirk. Farah’s place was too small and full of dangerous items to be fit for a child, and she hoped that a familiar setting would help keep Dirk calm. Although he looked fine, and though Farah knew he was used to Weird, there had to be something about the situation that would eventually throw his game off. When it did, she wanted him somewhere he felt safe.

 

Farah made sure Todd sat in the desk chair while she and Dirk picked up their (his) mess and packed up the office to leave. She’d head home for a few hours of sleep and to get some supplies before heading over to where the other two lived. Both of them needed some stability and somehow she  _ always  _ ended up with that job.

 

“Don’t forget to take him to get clothes,” Farah reminded Dirk as the took Todd’s hand, “he can’t be walking around in a grown man’s shirt. I’m hoping I don’t have to explain to you how bad that looks.”

 

“No, no, I got that. It’s the first thing we’ll do. I’m excited to see what his fashion sense is like now, since his normal one is flannel coats, dark jeans, and ratty shirts.” Dirk agreed quickly. Farah snorted. Dirk said that as though he didn’t text her several times a week all of Todd’s outfits and how he felt about them.

 

As Farah locked up the agency, she suddenly felt a weight land on her legs. She looked down to see a grinning Todd hugging her.

 

"I think yer real pretty, Miss Farah!" he told her earnestly, with giant eyes. Farah smiled down at him and said thank you before Dirk promptly ushered him away. 

 

Todd grabbed the older man's hand and began to speak rapidly about the clothes he wanted from the store (after all, he couldn't wander around in a grown man's t-shirt and boxers the entire time he was there) and what type of ice cream he was going to get afterwards. Farah made a mental note to arrive at Dirk’s once the sugar rush had ended.

 

* * *

 

At the store, they picked up several outfits, but Todd insisted on changing into a Scooby Doo t-shirt and plaid jeans, along with neon green socks and light-up shoes. Dirk convinced him to get a TMNT jacket as well, and the result was a hot mess of a child who looked far too pleased about being bundled in all the coolest gear. He strutted past the other kids, who looked on in jealousy while their own parents bought them navy shirts and tan pants. Dirk grinned and pulled out his phone- he  _ had _ to get pictures of this.    
  


Todd spoke a mile a minute to the cashier as they checked out. He talked about how he wanted a dog, but  _ really _ wanted a kitten, and how sharks were neat and he wanted teeth like theirs. For a moment Dirk thought he might remember some of his adult life, but then he started rambling on about Furbies and evil janitors and Dirk remembered that some things, past, future, and present-past, were still connected despite the randomness of the universe.    
  


Their next stop was the ice cream shop. Todd ended up getting an extra scoop because he showed the server the gap where he’d lost a tooth a few days before. He ordered one scoop of bubble gum and one scoop of cotton candy with extra whipped cream and two cherries, one of which he gave to Dirk, all while rambling about unicorns and dragons and aliens.   


  
Todd, Dirk realized halfway home, had yet to stop talking. Even as he skipped down the street with one hand in Dirk's, licking at his ice cream, he kept talking. It certainly wasn't unwelcome, but it was... curious. On certain caseless days, it could be hard to get two full sentences out of Todd, adult Todd. And yet, the child version of him was... bright. Cheerful. Constantly chattering.    


  
It was something Dirk thought he could get used to, though he wondered what had changed.

 

* * *

 

Introducing Todd to the apartment was like bringing a puppy home. It was all wide-eyed wonder at the things surrounding him, and complete curiosity about what he could do before he got in trouble. One thing that stopped him in his tracks, though, was the guitar. Before Dirk and the adult Todd had gone out earlier, Todd had been plucking at the strings and playfully composing little ditties about Dirk. The child obviously didn't realize that it was his, but he did stare at the guitar Dirk had gotten adult-Todd for Christmas with blatant longing. Dirk, figuring that it was his anyway, told him he could play it. 

 

Despite his excitement, Todd dashed to the bathroom and carefully washed and dried his hands before going back to pick up the guitar. It was bulky, but he hefted it to the couch and sat down with it on his lap. He strummed at the strings joyfully, plucking out chords from what must have been popular nineties songs, and screaming along to them. Even at this age Todd was decent at playing. Sure, he was confused about certain chords, and he wasn’t always sure where to put his hands, but he wasn’t bad at all. 

 

Dirk, enabler that he was, grabbed a couple of buckets, sat down on the floor in front of Todd, and began to beat them like drums. Todd yelled at him, laughing, whenever Dirk got the rhythm wrong. When they'd had enough of this and decided to turn the television on, Todd kept the guitar on his lap like it was a stuffed toy, plucking at the strings with careful but excited fingers. 

  
Dirk noticed that Todd looked a bit troubled when he didn’t recognize any shows on the television. When Dirk pressed him on the issue, Todd glanced at him, biting his lower lip.

  
"I wanted to watch Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood,” he said after a moment. “Or Scooby Doo. Or Bugs Bunny. But I don't know any of these.”

  
Immediately, Dirk grabbed his laptop. If Todd wanted to watch Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood, he would help him.

  
Todd looked on with attentive eyes, making no effort to disguise his awe as Dirk opened his web browser.   


  
"What's this?" he asked. "We don't have this at home!"   


  
"It's a laptop," Dirk answered, pulling up Todd’s desired show. “It's... We call this the internet, and you can find everything on it.” 

 

Todd's jaw dropped when he saw Mr. Rogers on the small screen. “That's so cool!" he exclaimed happily, cuddling up to Dirk's side as the beginning notes of the theme song filled the air. Dirk put an arm over Todd's tiny, bony, shoulders.   
  


Less than an hour later, Todd was asleep with his thumb in his mouth, which was quite possibly the cutest thing Dirk had ever seen in his goddamn life. He ended up taking over twenty pictures, needing to preserve this moment for life. Who could have possibly known that a tiny Todd would be  _ this cute _ ?    


  
Amanda.   


  
Amanda would know, because Amanda was  _ related _ to Todd! She would remember him at this age! Or... something close to it.   


  
Hopping up from the couch, Dirk crawled through the window to the fire escape, the perfect place to keep an eye on Todd without waking him up. He glanced inside one more time to make sure Todd was soundly asleep, and then dialed Amanda's most recent cell number. Amanda picked up on the third ring.   


  
"What's up, Dirk?" she yelled down the line. 

 

Dirk winced at the volume and jerked the phone away from his ear. It sounded like the Rowdies were up to something  _ loud _ . He could hear lots of yelling and destruction in the background.   


  
"Amanda, perfect!” he said, delighted. “Just the person I wanted to talk to!"    


  
"Fuck, man, I hope so, you called my cell. Whaddya need? Todd being a douche?" Amanda spoke casually, and Dirk was suddenly reminded of the animosity that still remained between the siblings.   


  
"Right, yes, no! No, he's not being a douche, but it  _ is _ to do with your brother!" Doing his best not to drag the conversation on for too long, Dirk quickly explained Todd's current predicament.

 

"Wait- he's a  _ child _ ?" Amanda asked incredulously after a short pause. Dirk noticed that the ambient noise had lowered considerably. He figured she had walked away from the Rowdies for this one.   
  


"Yes, it's crazy!” Dirk answered her exuberantly as he sat down on the stairs. “Five years old. Chatty as a hungry cat, and cute as a kitten!" He glanced inside to look at Todd, who was still asleep. "Was he always like this?"   


  
"Dude, I don't know,” she answered. “Todd's like... twelve years older than me or something. The first memory I have is of him being some teenage thing, strumming on his guitar in the corner of the garage. He was long past childhood by the time I started  being able to remember him. How did he get turned into a kid? Is he squishy-faced and ugly?"   


  
"No, he's honestly quite cute. Like I said, he's suuuper talkative, and he has the most wonderful ideas! As for your other question, something on our most recent case did it, but I don't know what exactly. Like I told Farah, there was a noise and a light, and Todd got in the way of the beam, and the next thing I knew, he was a child." Dirk leaned back, and then flailed as his arm slipped through the hole between the steps of the fire escape.   


  
All Amanda said was, "Huh." After a substantial silence, she added, "Talkative?"   


  
"Extremely so," Dirk confirmed.

 

"I don't remember him as talkative," Amanda said. She spoke slowly, like she wasn't sure of the words. "He was always... well, not quiet, but he wouldn't... put himself out there. I mean, he'd speak when spoken to, especially to me, but he wasn't... inclined to share."

  
  
"Really?" Dirk asked in surprise. "Because we went shopping, and he was telling me all sorts of things. About dragons and aliens and what he wants to be when he grows up."   


  
"And what was that?" Amanda questioned in amusement.   


  
"A bear that can skateboard and breathe fire," Dirk answered, chuckling. "Or a zombie astronaut. Or an artist who lives on a deserted island full of canaries. Or a world-famous musician. Or-"   


  
"Okay, okay, I get it," she laughed. "That's... that's definitely not the brother I remember. He was... well. He wasn't like that. I didn't realize, you know... five, ten years could do that to someone."   


  
"Well, I'd imagine it could, but..." Dirk didn't say any more. He reckoned Amanda knew.   


  
Something had to have brought about the change in Todd. Maybe something to do with his parents, or outside sources, perhaps. At five years old, Todd wouldn't know what it was. At thirty-something, he wouldn’t be likely to say. Dirk sucked in a breath as he glanced inside, and then blew out a raspberry.   


  
"I've got to go,” Dirk tells her. “If you want to see the most adorable thing you'll ever see in your life, drop by." He hung up before she could respond.

 

He climbed back through the window and looked around. Todd wasn’t on the couch any longer. "Todd? What did Farah and I say about hide-and-seek?"   


  
There was no answer. The guitar was still on the couch, but Todd is gone.

 

Dirk spun around in a circle, glancing over the apartment, before putting his hands on his hips. He’d been certain that Todd was completely asleep when he'd gone out to talk to Amanda. He glanced around.   
  


"Todd?” he called out in warning. “I hope you're not hiding. You'll be in trouble if you are."

 

It’s a lie, because at his age, Todd couldn’t be in trouble with Dirk if he  _ tried _ , but it’s worth a shot. Walking around the room, however, he doesn't see Todd at all. He crouched down and searched under chairs, cabinets, and tables, but none of it yields a small, dark-haired child with a gap-toothed grin. Lungs feeling tight, Dirk pulled out his phone again and dialed Farah's number. She picked up immediately, as usual.   


  
"I've lost Todd,” Dirk blurted before she could say anything else. "I was talking to Amanda, and now he's disappeared, and I can't find him."   


  
"What? How did you-” she demanded in an exasperated tone before cutting herself off. “No. Check the front door. Is it still locked?"   


  
Dirk rushed over to check, practically tripping over himself. "Yes! Yes, it's still locked. But, Farah, what if a ghost took him? Or what if someone broke in while I was talking to Amanda, and then somehow locked the door from the inside on the way out? He was asleep, he wouldn’t have been able to react fast enough!" Dirk was panicking. He couldn’t imagine anything worse than Todd going  _ missing _ as a  _ child _ . 

 

Farah sighed, and Dirk knew she was counting to ten before she responded to him.   


  
"He was asleep?" she clarified.   


  
"Yes. Yes, he was dead asleep, thumb in his mouth, it was adorable, and now he's gone and-"   


  
" _ Dirk _ ,” Farah snorted. “Check the bed." 

 

Dirk rushed over and noticed that the covers are pulled up. Quickly, he tugged them down and-   


  
There was Todd. Curled up like a puppy, snoring softly, thumb still in his mouth   


  
"He's here,” Dirk breathed out in a sigh of relief that definitely wasn’t anywhere close to a sob. “He's in the bed."    


  
"Great. Figured as much,” she told him. “Okay, close the window and get some sleep. I'll be over between one and two." And with that, she hung up.   


  
Dirk looked at his phone for a moment, marveling at how she’d known he’d left the window open in his panic, and did as she said. He looked back at Todd every few seconds to make sure he was still there as he shuffled through the apartment, double checking all the locks, before finally, utterly exhausted, crawling into the bed. He pulled Todd close to his chest, and then tugged the covers up around them. Todd snuggles closer.    


  
Dirk falls asleep, comforted by the warm weight of Todd safe and sound against him.

 

* * *

 

When Dirk woke up, Todd was still a child. He'd had a hope, small but nonetheless present, that the age displacement would only be temporary. Extraordinarily temporary, in fact. That was clearly and extremely unfortunately, not the case. He looked up to see Farah sitting on the couch, a book in her hands. She's wearing something soft-looking, and Dirk makes an involuntary noise of surprise. Farah wearing soft things only happens in dreams where they're all surrounded by cats on surfboards in an ocean of silly string. She looked at him with the type of expression one gives to a sneezing kitten, and he frowned. He must be more asleep than he’d thought. 

 

Todd, still in his arms, flipped around so excitedly he slapped Dirk in the nose.

  
  
"Yer awake!" he exclaimed. "You've been asleep and clingin' to me and Miss Farah said to just stay here a bit longer cause yer used to someone sleepin' in bed with you, so I did, but now yer awake! Can we get pancakes? Or waffles? Or waffle pancakes with chocolate chips an’ strawberry syrup an’ lots an’ lots an’  _ lots _ of whipped cream?" The child is practically screaming with excitement by the end of his sentence, and Dirk wants to die a little. Mornings between him and adult-Todd are... difficult. Neither of them are loud morning people, but while Dirk quietly bumps into things, Todd is quiet and has quite literally bitten Dirk before his morning coffee. Clearly, that change did not come about until later in life.   


  
"Faaarrraaahhhhh," Dirk moaned, closing his eyes. He opened them wide, however, when he felt breath on his nose, followed by a pair of small lips pressing a kiss to it.

 

"'m sorry Dirk, 'cause I slapped you in the nose when you woke up," Todd told him before rolling out of his arms and off the bed, bounding over to Farah like a gangly deer. "Miss Farah, can we get pancake waffles? Chocolate pancake waffles! With peanut butter an’ walnuts an’ maybe some punkin butter?"   


  
Farah looked at Todd. She closed her book , set it on the couch, and then leaned on her elbows so she’s face-to-face with Todd. He grinned his wide, gap-toothed grin, unabashedly happy despite being awake so early.   


  
"Tell you what," she offered. "We'll go out and get breakfast, but you can only get pancakes  _ or _ waffles." 

 

Todd eyes her, weighing his choices. "Pancakes  _ and _ waffles,” he tried. “And chocolate chips. And whipped cream. And syrup! Strawberry syrup."   


  
"Pancakes  _ or _ waffles, chocolate chips  _ or _ whipped cream, and strawberry syrup," Farah offered.   


  
"All of them!" Todd cheers.   


  
"Nope, one or the other." 

 

Todd frowned as his idea was shot down. He put his little hands on his hips and leaned forward. Not in her face, but clearly intent on trying to get her to see his way and giving in.

 

"Chocolate chip waffles with whipped cream and strawberry syrup," Todd told her.   


  
"No hot chocolate," Farah responded.   


  
"Milk," he nodded.   


  
"No milkshakes either," she said, giving Todd a serious look. Dirk can tell by the tilt of Todd's shoulders that he'd hoped to pull that one over on her.    


  
"Chocolate chip waffles with whipped cream an’ strawberry syrup." Todd nodded again, and then nods a third time to seal the deal. "An’ milk. No milkshake, no hot chocolate."   


  
"Atta boy, Todd.” Farah smirked and leaned back, picking her book up again. “Wake Dirk up, and we can get you your breakfast."  

 

Todd turned around and let out a child's war cry when he saw that Dirk had, once again, shoved his face into the pillow and curled up with the blanket. He ran full tilt at the bed and jumped, throwing his arms out like a superhero. He didn’t quite stick the landing, but he managed to scramble up anyway and began to jump around on the bed, narrowly avoiding all of Dirk’s limbs and vital organs.

  
"Up, Dirk, up! We gonna go get bre’fast! C'mon, Dirk, bre’fast!" Todd cheers before dropping onto his knees. He crawled onto Dirk and tried to pull the pillow away.

 

Dirk is too used to his pillow being taken away, either by Todd in one of his more wakeful moments, or by Farah during a case because they had  _ “time limits, dammit Dirk”. _ Even though he knows, he  _ knows _ Todd is a child, his response is natural, it’s  _ instinct-  _ Dirk grabbed the pillow, turning away and pushing at whoever was trying to remove it from under his head. Farah barely has enough time to yell his name before he remembers Todd is a child, and by then it's too late. There was a yelp, a thump, a bounce, and then the misplaced sound of sniffling and whining. It took Dirk three seconds to fully realize what he'd done. It was enough time that Farah was up and moving, and before Dirk can even sit up, she’d scooped Todd up into her arms. 

 

"It's okay, Todd, it's okay,” she said softly. “Shhh, he didn't mean it, he's not good at waking up. Maybe next time, don't go for the pillow?" 

 

Dirk looked up at them, eyes wide and apologetic. Farah glared at him, but Todd is almost silent as he clung to her. Dirk can see the strain in the child's back, how he's clinging to her but not making any noise.  _ Were children always this quiet? _ Todd was sniffling, his limbs shaking a bit, but within moments he’s stopped whining. 

 

Farah pulled back as much as she could to look at Todd. "Are you okay?" she asked. 

 

Todd nodded without hesitation. “Ye-ah.”

 

His voice cracked, sounding like he wanted to cry, and Dirk is  _ sure _ he’s hurt more than he’s letting on, because falling head first and backwards onto hardwood is  _ not _ a pleasant feeling, but... he’s hiding it. 

 

Todd swallowed and nodded again. "Yeah, I'm fine,” he said quietly. “Jus' su'prisin’, 's all."

 

He didn’t let go of Farah, though, and didn’t raise his head from her neck. Dirk hates the sinking feeling in his stomach, like he's somehow irreversibly damaged this child.   
  
"Todd, I am  _ so _ sorry-" he began. 

 

Todd just clung tighter.   
  
"Give him a minute," Farah whispered. 

 

She walked Todd about as far away from Dirk as they can get in the small apartment,  which is the kitchen. Dirk could hear her murmuring things: "It was an accident," and "He didn't mean it," and "You can have a milkshake or a hot chocolate at breakfast, if you want." 

 

He looked down at his hands, the hands that had pushed a child for being a child, and can’t help but feel immeasurably guilty. There’s an uncomfortable feeling in his gut that reminds him of how the guards at Blackwing had treated him as a child, and how he’d vowed to never be like that. 

 

_ Maybe some things, _ Dirk thought,  _ become ingrained without you realizing. _

 

* * *

By the time they got to the diner, whatever damage Dirk had caused by inadvertently throwing Todd to the ground has disappeared . He’s moved on to bouncing between Dirk and Farah, speaking about rabbits and space and bears and demons at such a rapid pace that Dirk has completely lost track of the story. He doubted Farah even tried to keep up. She just smiled and nodded, laughing whenever Todd tugged on her hand before hopping back over to Dirk to continue his adorably convoluted speech. 

 

Earlier, Todd had accepted Dirk's apology with a hug, and Dirk had even pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, but he still feels horrible. There was something off about the way Todd had reacted to the pain and shock of falling off the bed, but Dirk can’t put his finger on it.

Thankfully, Todd's good mood didn’t diminish in the diner. He’s thrilled to get to sit in a normal chair, like Dirk (or a Big Boy Seat, as he calls it), and when the waitress came over, he proudly told her that he's getting chocolate chip waffles with whipped cream  _ and _ strawberry syrup, please, and also Farah said he could have hot chocolate  _ OR _ a milkshake, and since Dirk is getting a milkshake, he’ll get the hot chocolate, pretty please with a cherry on top, and could his waffles come with cherries, too?   
  
The waitress is clearly delighted by the child and promised him all of those things, grinning at Dirk and Farah as she takes their orders. She also gifts Todd with crayons and paper, which he used to color an epic image of astronauts fighting green figures. He claimed they were giraffes, but Dirk and Farah both privately agree that they more resemble the offspring of an elephant and a frog. Neither tell Todd that, however; they just indulge him and ask for more details. 

 

When the food came, Todd dug in with gusto, whipped cream smearing all over his face, his fingers getting covered in sticky syrup. He grinned and laughed the whole time, his open mouth full of food. He winced sometimes when he leaned back in his chair, but he doesn't say anything. Instead, he finished the hot chocolate all by himself, and even drank some of Dirk's milkshake when he thinks nobody’s looking. By the time they're done eating, he's leaning against Dirk, mumbling with his eyes closed, seemingly in a food coma. Farah cleaned his hands and face with a wet wipe, grinning when he let out a little groan of complaint, and then Dirk picked him up and carried him out of the diner.

 

When Todd emerged from his food coma barely half an hour later, he started bouncing off the walls with so much energy that not even Dirk could keep up. Farah, meanwhile, didn’t even try. She resumed her place on the couch, book in hand, trying not to laugh too hard while watching Dirk run after Todd, who stripped down to nothing in less time than it takes for Bart to kill three people. It's a feat that Dirk has never seen performed before, and Todd is so clearly eating up the attention it garnered him. He laughed and shrieked as he flung a tiny pair of underwear at Dirk’s head, shouting something about Captain Boxer Man, and Dirk pants with the effort of trying to catch him.   


  
"No, no, Todd, I am not-- I am not this ‘Captain Boxer Man. I'm a  _ holistic detective _ . If I were Captain anything, I would be Captain Holistic. Or... or Captain Dirk. Captain Detective? Detective Captain Holistic?" He sounds the words out, looking to Farah for guidance. She only snorted and shook her head, and Dirk scowled- clearly  _ she's  _ not getting involved in this. 

 

Todd scurried closer then, and with the utmost gentleness, he pulls the underpants down further over Dirk's head.   
  


"Captain Boxer Man," he whispered, something between a prayer and a reassurance, and he takes off right before Dirk comes to his mind to try and catch the little monster.   
  


A few minutes later, Dirk is flat on his back, chest heaving as Todd jumps all over him. There is a small, purplish bruise on Todd's back, but it doesn't seem to bother him.   


  
"Farraahhhh," Dirk moaned.  "Farah, what do I do? Todd has  _ slain _ me."    


  
Farah looked at him and chortled. "Todd, do you want to go to the park?" she asked. Todd immediately stops what he's doing and looks up at her like a dog who just heard a bag of treats being opened. In about the same time it takes for Bart to destroy three cars, Todd is dressed and bouncing on his heels at the door. Dirk looked at Todd in betrayal before looking at Farah. Farah looked back at him smugly.

 

* * *

 

The park was full of screaming children, and Todd is immediately accepted into their ranks. Dirk and Farah, meanwhile, move to a park bench and sit down to watch. Farah has her case notes with her, because she is efficient and good at her job. Dirk has an ice cream, and the folder Farah requested he hold so he’d be doing something useful. While Farah makes notes on the case file, he watched Todd intently, trying to puzzle him out. Because this is a puzzle; not one that he likes, but one that the universe has put in front of him.   
  
Todd is silent about pain. He’s been that way since Dirk met him. Sure, he had screamed in shock and fear when Pepe the electric ghost rhino had attacked them, but every other time he'd been hurt, he had barely made a sound. It was another habit Dirk thought Todd had picked up as an adult, but this morning seemed to hint otherwise. 

 

"But why?" he murmured as he watches a child playfully slap Todd’s back, right on his bruise. Todd cried out, but didn’t shed any tears or try to retaliate; he only crawled under the child's legs, tripping them as they played some game. 

 

Farah looked up at him curiously and he shook his head. He doesn't want to ask her what a normal childhood is like, not yet. Not before he gathers more information. For example, was Todd placed in a pristine body when he got de-aged, or is this an exact replica of the body he’d had at five years old? Dirk was well aware that there are ways to hurt a child without leaving marks. The idea of someone doing that, though, of someone’s  _ parents _ doing that... Not a faceless institution, but the people who are meant to protect you... 

 

He doesn't want to think about it. But as he sees another child hit a prone Todd, he knows he must.

 

"Farah," Dirk said, standing up. "Farah, Todd is--" 

 

She looked up, and then immediately jumped to her feet.   
  
"Hey!" she bellowed. 

 

All motion on the playground stopped at the call. Todd was on the ground, curled up, hands over his head. The other child was on his knees, one arm raised for another strike.

 

" _ Hey! _ " Farah shouted again, walking over with the stride of a soldier, Dirk following close behind. "What do you think you're doing? You don't hit people like that!" 

 

For a second, Dirk thought she was going to tell the child how to hit someone correctly, but then he realized she was saying that you don't hit people in general. 

 

The kid didn’t even look scared. Not like Todd did as he peeked up at them through his fingers.

 

"Why were you hitting him?" she demanded of the child as she kneeled by Todd, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. When he flinched, she removed it. Dirk stood behind them, giving the kid his best stern expression. He probably just looked constipated.

 

"Cause he was being dumb and saying my favorite show doesn't exist!" the boy told Farah, gesturing to his Adventure Time shirt, which had Finn and Jake on it. Characters that would not have been around when Todd was young. "He was saying they don't exist even though they have for like a million years!"    
  
"That doesn't mean you have to hit him!" Farah scolded. 

 

At that point, a large, angry-looking man came striding over.   
  
"Who are you?" he demanded. "What are you saying to my son?"   
  
"He hit my child over a disagreement, and I’m telling him that that's not okay," Farah told him, standing up. Right now, Todd is her child.   
  
"If he hit him, the little shit obviously deserved it." The man dismissed her words easily, pointing at Todd. Todd looked back at him, pulling his hands down from his face slightly to reveal a terrified expression. Farah glared at the father, clenching her fists.   
  
"Remember those words," she said darkly. And then, before Dirk could blink, the man is on the ground, cradling his jaw. Farah looked at the child who hit Todd. "That is how you throw a punch, and you throw it when you're  _ defending  _ someone,  _ not  _ when you're arguing with someone over TV shows." 

 

With that, she scooped Todd up, arms wrapped gently yet securely around him, and walked out of the park. Dirk firmly nodded once, like an adult who knows exactly what’s going on (even though he only slightly does), and followed. 

 

Todd was once again silent in Farah's arms.

 

* * *

 

When they got back to the flat, Todd was still quiet. Dirk couldn’t stop staring at him, wondering if he was okay. He didn’t look okay. He looked like someone just slapped him and he couldn't defend himself. Which was, unfortunately, exactly what happened. Dirk wanted to hold him and tell him everything will be alright, but Farah was taking care of that.   
  
She sat on the couch, Todd sliding from her arms onto her lap. He sniffled and looked down, ever so carefully not making eye contact as he clasped his hands together. 

 

Dirk's stomach twisted. He had an upsetting theory, an uncomfortable one, and he has no idea how to ask a five-year-old if he's being abused by his parents. 

 

He set Farah’s case notes down on the counter along with the folder, and then walked over to sit beside Farah on the couch. She didn’t say anything, letting Todd have his quiet time, but not letting him go yet. It took fifteen minutes for Todd to speak.   
  
"I'm sorry," he whispered.

 

"Why are you sorry?" Farah asked quietly. Dirk could tell she was trying hard not to sound angry. He knew she was angry, very angry, but he also knows she didn’t want Todd to think she was angry at  _ him _ .   
  
"I shouldn’ta said nothin’,” Todd continued, and Dirk had to strain to hear him. “I shoulda just kept quiet and not said nothin’, ‘cause I said somethin’ and it made him hit me and I'm sorry.”   
  
"No, no, Todd,” Farah begins. “That's not your fault. I understand why he was upset, but it's not your fault that he hit you, it’s his. And he shouldn't have done it, because that's wrong.”   
  
"But  _ you  _ hit his _ dad _ , so if  _ he _ hit  _ me _ , then it's right, ‘cause  _ I _ was wrong." 

 

Dirk didn’t want to meet Todd's parents, ever.    
  
"I hit that guy because he was being mean and saying you deserved to be hit,” Farah explains. “But you  _ don't _ .”

 

Todd still looked troubled. Dirk knew it would take more than one pep talk to convince him he doesn't deserve to be hit, and even if they did, there was no guarantee that Todd would remember it when he returns to wherever he came from.    
  
"Todd, what year is it?" Dirk breaks in, because he has to know. He has to know what year Todd is living in.   
  
"1990," Todd whispered, already flinching, like the wrong answer was going to get him hurt.

 

There was a moment of silence as the words sank in. 

  
Farah was the first to speak again. "And... who do you live with, Todd? Normally?"  

 

Todd wiped his nose and looked down. "With my mom an’ my dad an’ my… my granpa," he answer softly. 

 

_ Grandfather _ . Which means his abuse may not have even come from a mother or father. It might have come from someone at home, yes, but not necessarily a parent. And by the time Amanda was born, the source of the abuse could have been gone, resulting in two very different children.    
  
_ Remove the cause, but not the symptoms, _ Dirk thinks.

  
"How do you feel about your family?" Farah asked, moving on even though Dirk was certain she had to be having similar thoughts. 

 

Todd brightened up a bit, giving her a wobbly smile. "My mom an’ my dad are great!" he said proudly. "They work so hard for me an’ my granpa. But sometimes they don't come home for long times, so it's jus’ me an’ Granpa, an’ Granpa is... Granpa is..." Todd's lower lip trembled and he looked down at his hands.   
  
"Is he mean to you?" Farah questioned gently, running a comforting hand through his hair.

 

Todd nodded.  
  
"He says... He says mean things," Todd whispered. "An’ he does mean things to me. An’ if I tell Mom an’ Dad then the house gets loud and it jus’ gets worse."  
  
"Oh, Todd," Dirk murmured, scooting closer so he could place his hand on the shaking child. "Have you... told anyone else?"  
  
Todd shook his head and bit his lip. "I don't like the house getting loud an’ it makes it hard on Mom an’ Dad an’ it's not fair to them if they gotta worry ‘bout me an’ I'm a _man_ so I can take it!" Todd said the last phrase with a sort of desperate assurance, like if he says it, it must be real. "I'm a man an’ men _don't cry_ an’ men _don't complain_ an’ men _don't_ _act like babies_ an’ I shouldn't bother Mom an’ Dad with my whining."  
  
Dirk, who has never been a violent person, wanted to punch this man. He wanted to hang him from his toes. He wanted to set the Rowdies on him. He wanted to execute him Wendimoor-style. To tell a child, a _baby_ , those toxic words…  
  


"It's not true, Todd,” he said. “There's no set way for men to be. Your grandfather is trying to impart old beliefs on you-- old, archaic, horrible beliefs. It's a terrible frame of mind to have, and you, _you_ , Todd, are perfect, okay?" Dirk tried to find Todd’s eyes so he can really hit this point home, but Todd was looking down. It sank in, slowly, that his words might be too big for the child. He leaned down and presses a kiss to his forehead. "It’s okay to be sad and cry,” he explained. “It is _okay_ to be vulnerable. And you should tell someone about this, because your grandfather is wrong, and I'm sure your parents want you safe more than anything."   
  
"He's right, Todd,” Farah said.

 

Todd nodded, but Dirk feels like, no matter what they say, some damage has already been done to his young mind. No matter what, when their Todd, adult-Todd, returns to them, he will still be the quiet, sarcastic, hedgehog cactus they've grown to know and love. He’ll bite Dirk before he’s had his morning coffee, and he will snap at Farah when she tries to reorganize all the desks. He’ll yell at Amanda when she brings the Rowdies into the apartment and they get things dirty. He will slam doors, and storm out of rooms to hide his emotions, and he’ll get into people’s personal space to yell at them about what he feels are poor choices.

 

But he’ll bring an extra thick blanket for Farah on stakeouts because she gets cold easily, and he’ll sing to Dirk on the nights he wakes up from nightmares, and he'll bring Farah hot chocolate and Rice Crispies after she has an anxiety attack. He’ll sign the card Dirk makes for Farah that says  _ “Congrats! You’re stuck with us as coworkers forever!”. _ He will always, always,  _ always  _ look out for his sister, even though she's been adopted by four crazy psychic vampires and a rainbow monster. He’ll clean the apartment, and he’ll send cards for the Rowdies birthdays. It will never be obvious affection, never blatant in the way that Dirk shows it. His will always be subtle, little things, because he was told when he was young that  _ men don’t show emotion. _

 

The past is the past, the damage is done, but they can still  _ try _ .

 

Todd settled down half an hour later, changing into his warm pajamas and crawling into bed. Dirk wanted to climb in with him, hold him,  _ protect  _ him, but he can tell the child wants space. To himself, he feared a repeat of that morning as well, so he simply helped tuck Todd in before turning the lights closest to the bed off. Standing by the window to the fire escape, Farah looked upset too, and Dirk reckoned she'd been having similar thoughts about Todd’s adult behavior.   
  
"Grandfather," she hisseD. “Saying those things to a  _ child _ , and nobody stopping it!”   
  
"And likely for a while," Dirk murmured unhelpfully. Todd's behavior certainly indicated that he’d been experiencing that treatment for a while.    
  
  


That Todd's parents wouldn't try harder to protect their child almost stung more than knowing that Todd was suffering. To make matters worse, it sounded like he had tried, had done what he was supposed to do and  _ spoken up _ , and no one had helped him.    
  


Dirk pulled out his phone and called Amanda.   
  
"What was your grandfather like?" The phone rang once before she answered, and he asked the question before she could say anything else.

  
"Sorry?" Amanda replied.   
  
"Your grandfather, the one who lived with your parents when Todd was a child," Dirk clarified, impatient.   
  
"Christ, dude, I dunno. I've got no memories of him. The guy died when I was, like, two.  I know it was under suspicious circumstances or something, but nobody really talked about him. From what I understand, Mom and Dad only let him stay with them because he insisted on it. Something about the right way to treat family, watch the kids, blah blah." She was  _ flippant _ . She didn’t know. She couldn’t, with that attitude. "Why do you ask?"   
  
"Evidence would suggest that something not good happened between that man and your brother that caused Todd to turn into who he is now," Dirk answered.

 

Amanda was quiet for a moment, contemplating what that might mean. “Are you… implying that our grandfather… somehow abused my brother?” she asked.

 

“That is… That’s how it seems, yes,” Dirk confirmed. “He was saying that his grandfather told him that men don’t cry, don’t complain, and don’t act like babies. Said that to a  _ five-year-old, _ Amanda, and we… Farah and I, we think it’s gone on for a while, judging by how Todd acts. He fell off the bed this morning and didn’t make any sort of sound. He didn’t even  _ whine _ . And he was just getting beat up at the park and he didn’t fight back, he didn’t even  _ try  _ to, he just-- Amanda, he--” 

 

Dirk stopped when Farah put a hand on his shoulder. He was breathing roughly, his voice hoarse, and his throat tight. To say it all out loud only makes it seem more real, reminding him of how he failed to protect Todd not just once, but  _ twice _ today.  _ Three times _ in the past two days, but who’s counting? 

 

Farah took the phone from Dirk and pushed him gently towards the couch.

 

“Amanda?” she said. “Yeah, hi, it’s Farah. Dirk’s having a breakdown, I think. Honestly, I’m surprised he hasn’t already. Me? No, I had one yesterday before I came over for nighttime watch. It’s pretty traumatizing when your friend gets turned into an actual child.” From the way she said it, it sounds as though this sort of thing happens all the time. And in a way, it does. Their lives are hardly simple. Maybe Dirk should have planned on one of them eventually becoming a child. 

 

“No, he’s telling the truth,” Farah continued. “Todd said that, when he tried to tell your parents, the house got loud, and he didn’t like it.” There was a pause, and then Farah’s voice turned gentle. “Are you sure? It’s… weird, to say the least.” Another pause, and then Farah nodded. “Alright. We’ll be here. I don’t think we’ll leave the apartment again today. Both of the boys need some… hibernation.” Farah glanced at Dirk and then nodded again. “Yeah. Yep, alright. I think just you, at first. I’m not sure how he’ll react to other men. Okay, yeah. Sounds good. Text me when you get here. Alright, Amanda. See you tomorrow. Good night.”

 

Farah hung up the phone and placed it on the arm of the couch.

 

“Dirk, maybe you should go to bed?” she suggested quietly. 

 

Dirk was staring at Todd, one hand crossed over his stomach to grip his other arm.

 

“I couldn’t help him, Farah,” Dirk whispered. “I couldn’t do anything. I  _ can’t _ do anything! I don’t want to give him back. I don’t want him to go back to that, but--”

 

“But you want  _ our _ Todd back,” Farah finished. Her voice was gentle, understanding. 

 

Dirk nodded. 

 

“I know,” Farah said. “I want him back, too. And that’s the cross we have to bear. Look, we don’t even know if he’s out of time, or just de-aged. He might not have even disappeared from his time at all. Maybe this is just our Todd as a baby, and nothing we can do will change history.” 

 

She sat down next to Dirk on the couch and put her arm around him. Dirk closed his eyes and leaned on her, pulling his legs up as though he were the child. Even though he was practically sitting on her lap, but Farah didn’t protest. It’s not the first time this has happened, and it certainly won’t be the last. He  _ needs _ the kind of closeness that it brings, the comfort it gives him, and he’s not afraid to request it.

 

“I hate time loops,” he whispered. 

 

Farah rubbed his back and nodded. “Yeah,” she said. “Me too.”

 

* * *

 

Dirk must have fallen asleep curled up on Farah, because the next thing he knew, he was waking up on the couch with a blanket draped over his shoulders, sunlight shining brightly in his eyes. Someone is singing quietly, and for a moment, he can close his eyes and pretends it’s any other morning.

 

Everything’s fine, everything’s normal. Todd is in the kitchen making pancakes or waffles, singing some old Mexican Funeral song. Farah must have spent the night after a case, kicking Todd and Dirk out of their bed because she puts in the long hours, so she deserves it (she snores a little and talks in her sleep sometimes, but it’s okay because she always makes them coffee in the morning). Soon, Todd would walk over and poke Dirk in the shoulder. Maybe he’ll be spiteful over something Dirk did during the case, and give him a wet willy to wake him up. It wouldn’t be the first time, though it is better than waking up to a face full of shaving cream because Todd had actually managed to get Dirk to slap himself using the old prank. This was a day like any other, nothing extraordinary about it. 

 

Todd is not a child, he was never abused by any family members, and Amanda won’t be coming over to see him today.

 

“Dirk?” a small voice asked. 

 

The illusion is broken. Dirk opened his eyes again and peered toward the bed. Todd had wrapped himself in the comforter, his face the only visible part of him. He may as well be a cocoon for how much he’s covered himself up. Dirk grunted softly, closing his eyes again. He thought for a moment that Todd might try to wake him up like he did yesterday. Instead, he heard the sound of shifting. When he opened his eyes for a third time, Todd has turned away and curled into himself under the covers. The sight of it makes Dirk’s heart ache.

 

He pushed himself up to stretch, his joints popping as he did so. The quiet singing continues, and he looked over his shoulder to see Amanda and Farah in the kitchen. Amanda, he had recently learned, stress-cooks. She appeared to be making breakfast with Farah, and likely a full one, because there is food all over the counter and it doesn’t look like they’re anywhere near finished

 

Dirk stood up slowly, giving his body a little more time to wake up, before shuffling over to the bed. He sat on the edge, not touching the lump of blanket that is de-aged Todd Brotzman. He has no idea what to do. Children are marvelous mysteries, but ones he doesn’t understand how to solve. He doesn’t remember being a child. He remembers cats, and his mother’s bright smile, and blood. He remembers long, cold hallways and impartial scientists who didn’t understand, who tried to understand the wrong part of him. He remembers hope, followed by betrayal, learning that adults can’t be trusted, even when they say they can. 

 

He doesn’t remember what it’s like being anything other than what he’s grown up to be, and even that isn’t something he’s sure of.

 

“Are you awake, Todd?” Dirk asked quietly. 

 

There was a moment of silence before the comforter shifted in a nod. 

 

"Do you want to get up?” Dirk continued.

 

“No,” Todd whispered back. “There's another lady here, an’ she's got like four guys an’ a weird lady with her. They all came in earlier, but she's the only one who stayed, an’ she was cryin’ an’ screamin’, an’ it woke me up and reminded me of Mama when Granpa yells, an’ I didn’ like it, an’ you were asleep…”

 

“Okay.” Dirk looked to the kitchen where Amanda and Farah were still cooking. “Do you want me to introduce you so she's not scary anymore?”

 

Todd turned into Dirk's hip and pulled the covers back from his face a little. Dirk met his gaze with a soft smile, and Todd hesitantly nodded.

 

“Yeah, please,” he whispered. 

 

As Dirk stood, Todd reached his arms up, still carefully clinging to the comforter, and Dirk wasted no time in picking him up, just as Farah had done the day before. His weight is a solid reminder that Todd is still  _ here _ , albeit… small.   
  


[ ](http://s223.photobucket.com/user/yogurtpo3/media/BeginnerBang-Dirkcarrying-final_zpsb6otk4sq.png.html)

 

Dirk pressed a soft kiss to Todd's forehead and gathered up the rest of the blanket over his shoulder, covering Todd’s head with it while still making sure the boy was comfortable before he walked over to the kitchen. He cleared his throat when they reached the counter. Amanda whirled around, and Todd startled in his arms, fingers tightening in Dirk’s shirt.. Farah turned around more slowly and smiled.

 

“Good morning, Todd,” she said. “Do you want some breakfast?”

 

Todd nodded at Farah and then turned to look uncertainly at Amanda. 

 

“Amanda, this is Todd,” Dirk introduced. “Todd, this is Amanda.”

 

Between Todd being turned and the blanket covering his head, Dirk couldn't see his expression, but the child was clinging to him like a lifeline. Amanda, in the meantime, was staring at Todd like she'd seen a ghost. It took a minute of silence and Farah's elbow digging into her side on a pass while finishing putting food on the table for the moment to be broken.

 

“Hello, Todd,” Amanda said slowly, holding her hand out to him. “I'm Amanda. It's nice to meet you.”  

 

Todd leans towards her slightly and grabs it, shaking it without saying a word.

 

The silence stretched on for a moment before Dirk finds himself needing to break it. “Okay, well. Breakfast!” He exclaims, bouncing Todd lightly in his arms. The atmosphere is too tense for him. He doesn't like it. Their home is normally so much lighter, so much more welcoming. Full of music and laughter and gentle teasing. Right now, they’re surrounded by a quiet that’s intruding like a creeping fog, and Dirk wanted to dispel it.

 

He tried to put Todd down in a chair, but the child clung to him like a limpet. Dirk didn’t fight it, not after yesterday. Instead, he took the seat for himself and settled Todd on his lap so that the boy was facing the table.

 

“Pancakes, eggs, bacon?” Dirk prompted. 

 

Todd pokes his head through the blanket and looks at the spread in amazement. His stomach rumbles, the appearance of food in front of him seeming to have broken some wall. He began to direct Dirk to pile up all sorts of food on his plate, a child with a human claw machine. As they picked out their food, Farah and Amanda joined them as well. Farah sat beside Dirk, while Amanda sat across from them. She kept glancing at Todd, still trying to adjust to the change.

 

“What are we doing today?” Dirk asked the group a few minutes into the meal when Todd was happily distracted, his mouth stuffed full of food. 

 

“Well, since we didn't do any research yesterday, we're going back to the place you and Todd were when…  _ this  _ happened,” Farah answered. 

 

Dirk stilled, fork halfway to his mouth, ketchup-covered scrambled egg dripping back onto his plate.

 

He hadn’t even  _ thought _ of returning to the place where it had happened.

 

“Stupid,  _ stupid _ , Dirk,” he said, facepalming, “always focusing on Todd instead of the case. Yes, yes, Farah,  _ good _ , we’ll go back and… and figure out what this is. What the machine did.”

 

Amanda looked at Dirk and raised her eyebrows.

 

“Machine?” she asked. 

 

Dirk set his fork down on the plate. “Todd and I weren’t investigating anything in particular, just following one of my hunches. No one came to us to look into anything, it was just… I saw a building and bolted, and he followed, as always. There was a machine, and I pushed a button, but it didn't do anything, so I started to walk away, but then there was this laser gun thing, and it… it made this noise, and there was this flash of light, and Todd got in the way, and then… there was him.”

 

Todd, still busy stuffing his face full of food, didn't seem to notice the three adults staring at him. He was going to need a bath before they left, considering the fact that he currently had jelly on his forehead, ketchup on his cheeks, and syrup from pancakes dripping from his chin onto his hands, blanket, and chest.

 

“Do you remember where this building was?” Amanda asked.

 

Dirk raised his head to look at her, thinking back. “Umm… Hmm. I… somewhat do, yes.”

 

“Okay,” Farah said decidedly. “Todd is going to finish eating, and then he's getting a bath,  _ especially  _ since he didn’t get one after yesterday’s park visit, and then we're going to go scope out this building.”

 

Todd looked up at them, finally showing indication of hearing his name. One hand is being used to push scrambled egg around on his plate to make food-art, the other is stuffed back into his mouth. His eyes are slightly glazed, a clear indication of another food coma.

 

“Bath time, Todd!” Dirk said enthusiastically. 

 

* * *

 

 

After an hour and a half, a bath (for Todd), two showers (for Dirk and Farah), and three changes of clothes (because Todd couldn’t decide on what he wanted to wear once clean), they left to find the building. It took another hour of wandering around, three false “This is it!”s, and a lot of following the will of the universe before Dirk managed to remember the location of it. Once inside, Amanda was delegated to Todd-watching while Dirk showed Farah the machine and further explained what happened. Farah, thorough as always, began to open drawers and rifle through them. Dirk, meanwhile, was torn between watching Farah and watching the Brotzmans. 

 

Amanda, somewhat surprisingly, was  _ good _ with Todd at this age. Whatever reservations her brother had about her had disappeared the moment she said she played drums, and as soon as they'd gotten into the building, he’d grabbed her hand and taken off running. Or, tugging, at least. Amanda wasn't exactly letting herself be pulled around.

 

“Look, look!” Todd exclaimed as he pointed just in front of the machine. “That's where I woke up! And that,” he said, pointing to where Dirk had lain just a couple of days prior, “is where Dirk was!”

 

“Woah, really?” Amanda said, looking at both spots with a critical gaze. “How cool! Were you scared?”

 

“Nah, cause I heard Dirk callin’ my name and he seemed scareder than I was, so I knew I had to be brave for ‘im,” Todd answered. 

 

Dirk glanced over at him with a small smile before Farah regained his attention by slapping him with some documents.

 

“What's this?” he asked, grabbing hold of the pile of paper.

 

“Our answer to what happened to him,” she answered. “Amanda, could you take Todd… out, please?” 

 

“I have to go?” Todd asked, frowning petulantly. “Why do I have to go?”  

 

“Because I need to talk to Dirk about a secret,” Farah said. “If you're a good boy, we can stop by the store and get you a toy on the way home.” 

 

Todd's eyes widened. He grinned, nodded, and tugged Amanda out of the room. As soon as the door shut, Farah turned back to Dirk, who was frowning and looking at the papers.

 

“I have no idea how you found this place, Dirk. I don’t know if it was the universe or someone, somehow, played with your weirdness-detector, but this place shouldn’t exist. The door was literally locked, the place looks condemned, and I’m pretty sure we walked past at least five piles of bones on our way here, which I  _ know _ Todd would have complained about.”

 

Dirk nodded sheepishly, looking up at her. Todd had complained several times about the bones, each time getting louder and more insistent they leave.

 

Farah sighed and shook her head before pointing at the papers Dirk still held. “Look, that laser wasn't meant for you two to find. It was supposed to be hidden. It’s  _ highly _ experimental.” She grimaced. “And it doesn't reverse. Or, rather, it doesn't have a reverse setting.”

 

Dirk took a moment to absorb this.

 

“So he's… There's no way to fix him?” Dirk asked quietly, glancing at the door.

 

“Not really, no,” Farah answered. She took back the papers and scanned them once again, biting her lip. “However, it does say that, when used on other subjects such as mice, cats, dogs, and… one elephant... some subjects did revert back to their regular ages. The older the subject, the quicker they reverted. I'm assuming that someone was trying to find a way to either live forever or become young again. Like the fountain of youth. Except it’s a laser. Unfortunately, there’s no documented human experimentation, so I don’t know what’s going to happen to Todd. Only 73% of these subjects survived the initial de-aging process, and out of those who did, only 47% survived re-aging...”

 

Farah kept speaking, but white noise took over Dirk’s ears, blocking her words out. He took a deep breath, trying to contain the panic that was now swirling in his chest. Not only had Todd been transformed into a child with no recollection of his life with Dirk, there was now a chance that he might not even survive the re-aging process. 

 

Farah stopped speaking when the door swung open, slamming against the wall. Todd ran in, yelling excitedly about something, with Amanda right behind, scooping him up in her arms. They were both smiling and laughing, poking at each other, and Dirk could only stare at them in silent horror. Not even tiny-Todd’s cheerful expression could lighten the heavy atmosphere in the room. If anything, the laughter only made it worse because it served as a painful contrast to what Farah had just said, forcing the truth even further into Dirk's mind-

  
  
There was a very real chance that Todd was going to die in the next few days.

**Author's Note:**

> HA. Ended it on a cliffhanger. Work started beating the hell out of me so I wasn't able to give the ending I want. There will be an actual ending to it- eventually. It's on the list, behind the big bang fic I'm working on as well as finishing QAL. But it's on the list.


End file.
